Seen 13th August
For years now, Luc Besson has been known for his visual aesthetic. The man knows how to create a world and breathe life into it, his film The Fifth Element is proof that he knows how to paint a glorious picture with his camera… Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets is proof that he needs to work more on his stories and casting because he’s losing his touch.
Continue reading “Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets”
Seen 6th July
First we had Tobey Maguire donning the infamous red suit for three movies in the early 2000’s. When he became unavailable the franchise rebooted and the suit went over to Andrew Garfield for the 2012 reboot The Amazing Spider-Man. Then this time, I’m guessing because having a guy pushing 30 playing a high schooler is creepy, they grabbed Tom Holland to try on the tights. Can we keep him? I like this one.
Continue reading “Spider-man: Homecoming”
Seen 4th July
Despicable Me as a series has become known more for it’s sentient tic-tac Minions than anything else. This movie clearly wanted to try and reverse that connection but gosh darn it those little pills of yellow just keep popping up.
Continue reading “Despicable Me 3”
Seen 3rd July
In the 2004 film Team America Matt Stone and Trey Parker posed a very simple question, “Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?”. They were referring to Pearl Harbor, A film where Michael Bay decided to turn one of the worst attacks on America into a love story. Well, good news, Michael Bay is no longer desecrating American history… he’s moved on to desecrating the entire planet’s history, science, logic, basic movie making and humanity in general.
Continue reading “Transformers: The Last Knight”
Seen June 15th
For as long as I can remember, there have been talks about a Wonder Woman movie. There were talks of TV series pilots, including the infamous NBC pilot that basically turned Wonder Woman into a sociopath who didn’t care about anyone or anything other than the size of the tits on her action figure (And god do I wish I was kidding about that). At one point Joss Whedon was going to handle the movie but that didn’t pan out. Basically for pretty much my entire life there was only one live action Wonder Woman who went by the name of Lynda Carter, as far as I’m aware she is the only person to play the part on film… until Gal Gadot came around, and thank Zeus that she turned up when she did.
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Seen May 12th
In space, no one can hear you scream. It’s probably one of the most iconic taglines in cinema history from one of the most iconic movie’s of all time. It’s sequel was just as iconic, some would dare to say it’s better than the original. It was followed by a few more sequels, then a couple of team ups, and then a weird semi-prequel called Prometheus… each of these films are not exactly remembered fondly. This is a standard problem in the horror genre, the first few movies are good but after a while the series gets bad. Alien: Convenant is one of those rarities… a sequel that’s about 6 films deep into a series that doesn’t suck!
Continue reading “Alien: Covenant”
Seen April 26th
You know how the first Guardian’s of the Galaxy was one of the most gloriously silly and out there Marvel Movies that they’d made up until that point? Well… yeah, still gloriously silly and out there, just not as out there as the first one felt.
Continue reading “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2”