Adventure · Animation · Comedy · Family · Sci-Fi

The Emoji Movie

Seen September 10th

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Action · Adventure · Fantasy · Horror · Sci-Fi · Western

The Dark Tower

Seen September 2nd

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There is a term in Hollywood known as “Development Hell” where a film that is eagerly anticipated keeps having problems getting started. Sometimes this can hold a film up for years, decades. The Dark Tower has been in development hell since 2007… it may have needed a few extra years to work out all the kinks.

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Action · Adventure · Fantasy · Sci-Fi

Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets

Seen 13th August

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For years now, Luc Besson has been known for his visual aesthetic. The man knows how to create a world and breathe life into it, his film The Fifth Element is proof that he knows how to paint a glorious picture with his camera… Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets is proof that he needs to work more on his stories and casting because he’s losing his touch.

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Action · Adventure · Sci-Fi

Spider-man: Homecoming

Seen 6th July

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First we had Tobey Maguire donning the infamous red suit for three movies in the early 2000’s. When he became unavailable the franchise rebooted and the suit went over to Andrew Garfield for the 2012 reboot The Amazing Spider-Man. Then this time, I’m guessing because having a guy pushing 30 playing a high schooler is creepy, they grabbed Tom Holland to try on the tights. Can we keep him? I like this one.

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Action · Adventure · Sci-Fi · Thriller

Transformers: The Last Knight

Seen 3rd July

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In the 2004 film Team America Matt Stone and Trey Parker posed a very simple question, “Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?”. They were referring to Pearl Harbor, A film where Michael Bay decided to turn one of the worst attacks on America into a love story. Well, good news, Michael Bay is no longer desecrating American history… he’s moved on to desecrating the entire planet’s history, science, logic, basic movie making and humanity in general.

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Action · Adventure · Fantasy · Sci-Fi · War

Wonder Woman

Seen June 15th

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For as long as I can remember, there have been talks about a Wonder Woman movie. There were talks of TV series pilots, including the infamous NBC pilot that basically turned Wonder Woman into a sociopath who didn’t care about anyone or anything other than the size of the tits on her action figure (And god do I wish I was kidding about that). At one point Joss Whedon was going to handle the movie but that didn’t pan out. Basically for pretty much my entire life there was only one live action Wonder Woman who went by the name of Lynda Carter, as far as I’m aware she is the only person to play the part on film… until Gal Gadot came around, and thank Zeus that she turned up when she did.

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